What If
by youngheejin
Summary: A series of one shot in what if situations. First chapter is about Deeks' past with his father.


Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Mr. Shane Brennan. This is solely for the entertainment of the fans.

This is a one shot story. I'm so sorry if this seems OOC. I tried my best but I'm not really sure how they'll act if they are in this situation. That is why it's called. What if.

**WHAT IF**

CHAPTER 1

Kensi knocked slowly in Deeks door thinking to herself. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. He's hurting and what he went through is not unfair. Any kids shouldn't went through what he did. No wonder he uses his humor against every one's insults on him.

Deeks opened the door with a bowed tear stained face. He doesn't want her to see him like this. Actually he doesn't want anyone to see him like this. He is a strong person. He doesn't need help. He's the one who does the helping.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things to you. You know me, I say things I don't mean."

Kensi appeared hesitant waiting for him to let her in.

He disappeared in his door and left it open for her to enter and crash back to his couch.

"Deeks don't. I know what you're thinking! Please don't blame yourself. I'm sorry, I didn't know about your past. I'm sorry that I wasn't very understanding to you as a friend." Kensi sat on his right side and put her arm at his back. She wanted to comfort him but she doesn't know how. She can see that he really needs it but in their partnership, he is the one who does the cheering up. That's the kind of friend he is.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough about my past but you have to understand the difference of what we went through. Your Dad loved you, my father didn't. He used to hit my mom but I tried to defend her so ever since then after beating her, he'll go after me. It all stopped after Ray gave me a gun. I thought I couldn't pulled the trigger. I raised the gun, and my hand trembled badly. It's either he shoot me with his or I do it. I don't even remember pulling the trigger. All I can hear is my mom crying and after that silence, I opened my eyes and saw him collapsed on the floor."

Deeks hid his face in his hands. Kensi pulled him to her. "Come here, come here. It's all over. You're here with me and your father is gone." Deeks leaned on her chest, clutch her to his and sobbed.

They fell asleep in his couch tangled in each other's arms.

Kensi stirred awake. She opened her eyes and felt something heavy on top of her. She look at below her and saw Deeks sleeping. She look at her surroundings and remembered what happen yesterday.

She look at him again, and brush the hair in his face. She always felt tenderly for him. After all those times of being friends, and partners helping, trusting, and being each other's back up. Now she felt something more for him. She smiled to herself. He looks very peaceful sleeping. He sleeps like an innocent kid.

Deeks woke up and slowly opened his eyes. He lifted himself from her embarassed and can't even meet her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Kensi sat up and pulled him to a hug.

At first he was surprised but his body must be ahead of his mind cause his arms are already around her and his face hid where her shoulder meets her neck, nuzzling her. After a few moments of holding each other she let him go.

He smiled at her shyly and also the kind of smile where he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Kensi smiled at him. They held each other's gaze. Slowly she closed the gap.

At first he didn't move. He couldn't believe it's happening. He can't believe that Kensi, his partner is kissing him, that she's somehow interested in him. After a few seconds, he still couldn't believe it but kiss her back. He's been wanting to do this for a long time, and this might be the first and the last time it's going to happen. Maybe she's just kissing him because it's the comfort she could give but to tell her the truth, listening to him and holding him is enough. He doesn't need them to be more than friends. Of course he wants them to be more but he'll take what he can get.

The kiss started slow, testing each other, and learning each other.

Deeks circled his arms around and pressed her close to him. Her arms slowly raised from his chest, to his shoulders then around his neck.

When his tongue met hers, she moaned. She tilted her head to give him more access.

When the issue to breath came, Deeks pulled back but gave her face butterfly kisses.

Deeks gave her a last peck and rested his forehead to hers "God! Kens, as much as I want this. This is not the right time."

"I know. I know. I agree. I want you to remember I'm always here for you."

"I know and I'll always be here too even if you don't see me I'll be there."


End file.
